Only a fellow commuter could possibly know how I live. I have become a modern gypsy. I eat, conduct business, sometimes sleep and basically live out of my pick-up truck. Traveling an hour inland every day for work and school from a small town on Maine’s coast has proven to be a challenge. I have learned to think ahead and bring anything and everything I may need. If anyone dared to look in my vehicle, the trash, clutter, and other pieces of my existence that gather on my floorboards, seats, and in the truck bed would make my lifestyle obvious. As I park at the local car wash this morning, I pulled the Chevy right up next to the giant vacuum that looks like the robot from lost in space. I begin to remove and vacuum up, all the discarded items that have found their final resting place located on my floor mats and shoved up under the bucket seats. Little shreds off cellophane with the number 5 imprinted on them are scattered across the floor like carcasses. My favorite new gum. Its name is the number 5 and not only is it tasty, but it works great for the unfortunate side-effect of my morning coffee run. This of course leads appropriately to the next discovery. Two thermal coffee cups that never made their way back to my kitchen, and three Styrofoam ones. A vessel for each day of the week. Next to my cylindrical crutches and gum wrappers, crumpled up in the same fashion, are the many receipts. Some are from the bank giving out my unfortunate account balance, but they are mostly from gas stations, thanking me for my purchase of over-priced Arabian gasoline.
As I finish up with the floorboard graveyard, my eyes focus on the back seat. It’s covered with a faded old sheet with a paisley print. The poor guy just didn’t make it in the linen closet anymore and is now damned to its current existence. The make-shift seat cover is anything but form fitting and within in its wrinkles and folds, I can see perhaps hundreds of sunflower seeds hiding like tiny insects. The seed infestation is a sign of my other habit. When I’m not chewing my number 5 I have to keep busy with Planters sunflower seeds. Working on construction sites constantly, I have come across guys who have every habit ranging from cigarettes to chewing tobacco. I think these activities are pretty disgusting but can relate. The seeds are my crutch. They are just as addictive but don’t smell nearly as bad. As I continue to clean I come to the end of the bench seat. Here is the eighth wonder of the world. The leaning tower of text books. Completing my last semester of college, I currently take 22 credits of classes. This basically adds up to 1 ½ metric tons of books, binders, and folders. Living so far from my school, it’s not like I can run home if I need a certain paper so I bring it all with me. These tools of knowledge are necessary but are like carrying around the weight of a toddler. Thank god they don’t need a car seat.
Now that I’ve gutted out the interior, it’s time to head back to the bed. Anyone that has ever owned a pick-up is well aware that keeping the bed free of debris is nearly impossible. It is just too tempting to launch any abandoned object back there. Like I said earlier, I work in construction and have gathered quite a collection of random tools. Never knowing when I may need a certain device, I keep them all with me. Shovels, rakes, and other hand tools are all nestled together. Mixed in here and there are wooden grade stakes, rope, spray paint, and random containers. If a construction emergency goes down, I’ll be the man of the hour. In front of the bed is another back hole known as the tool box. Its chrome, diamond-plated finish gives no indication of the tornado within. Jackets, rain gear, ratchet straps, a chainsaw, a fishing pole, and the list goes on and on. The boy scouts preparedness has nothing on me.
So as embarrassing as it is, I have described the trash can I drive around. At least at this moment, it is clean and organized. It should stay that way for at least a day or two. The funny thing about my situation is that I really hate clutter. It only took a few times of not having the book, tool, or rain jacket for me to get over my need to be basic and bare. Soon enough school will be a memory, I’ll have a cushy supervisor job that doesn’t require carrying a hardware store with me and hopefully I won’t be going through a tank of gas every couple of days. Next time you see a car with crap filling up the back window or someone stepping out of there van, followed by a trail of wrappers, think to yourself, they probably are a complete slob or maybe they’re just one of the poor souls who call themselves a commuter.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
division essay
Finally, turkey time is here again. With spring comes the month of April, the time of year when wild turkey hunters dust off their calls and prepare for the pursuit of a giant tom. In Maine, the bag-limit is just one bearded turkey and as of2009, with a boom in the bird population, the whole month of May is set aside to allow hunters success. Whether you are new to the sport and seeking some information or a seasoned veteran that just needs some reminders, here are some ideas to think about when preparing for the spring 2009, Maine wild turkey hunt. A well successful hunter is a prepared hunter who concentrates on their weapon, their equipment, and choosing the right camouflage.
One major part of the turkey hunt is the firearm you choose. The law in Maine states that hunters may only use shotguns, gauges 10-20 or bow and arrow. I myself have not hunted gobblers with a bow but it sounds like a blast and is on the to-do list. I normally use a Remington Express in a 12-gauge and find it perfect. Using this gauge with a good 3 inch turkey shell will lead to success nearly every time. Consumers can find limitless accessories on the market today aimed at more productive hunts. Although one must be cautious when wading through the many products, some can be very helpful. Fiber-optic sights which attach to the barrel with a magnet, adjustable shooting rests that help to hold the gun and pistol grips which take the pounding from a large shell off your shoulder, are all innovative products out there.
As with most sports and hunting in particular, the condition and functionality of your equipment can lead to a very good or a very disastrous day. Like I mentioned before, thousands of accessories can be added to your equipment list but the two major ones are calls and decoys. Turkey hunters have quite a selection of calls to choose from including box calls, slate calls, diaphragms, and even electronic devices. I personally like the natural sound of a slate call to get the toms to come in and then switch to the diaphragm when they get close. A diaphragm call sits in the roof of your mouth allowing you to keep both hands on the gun and call at the same time. The other important piece of equipment is your decoys. When buying a new set, do yourself a favor and spend a little more. The difference between the foam, two dimension cutouts and the nice plastic deluxe models is huge. Turkeys have the best eyesight in the forest and will spot the inexpensive knock-off from a mile away.
The last major focus will be your camouflage. Since turkeys are so well known for amazing eyesight, it is obvious that to be successful, the hunter must be invisible. Many patterns on the market have been developed specifically for spring hunting. They will normally have more green hues and less dark brown colors. Items must be worn so that the hunter is covered literally from head to toe. Always remember that a flash of a wristwatch or exposed, shiny skin will alert you prize turkey way before he’s in the kill zone. Always wear a head net or face make-up, a complete suite, gloves, and even camo boots.
So now you are all set for success. With the right gun (or bow), a few accessories, and some camouflage that will turn you into a part of the forest, your chances of bagging a nice tom and an unforgettable memory are in your future. Maine is a gorgeous state to hunt and with the relatively new sport of wild turkey hunting, sportsmen can finally have something to focus on during the spring season. Just remember when storing all that gear and putting the gun back in the cabinet that there is now a fall, two-week turkey season to dream about over the summer.
One major part of the turkey hunt is the firearm you choose. The law in Maine states that hunters may only use shotguns, gauges 10-20 or bow and arrow. I myself have not hunted gobblers with a bow but it sounds like a blast and is on the to-do list. I normally use a Remington Express in a 12-gauge and find it perfect. Using this gauge with a good 3 inch turkey shell will lead to success nearly every time. Consumers can find limitless accessories on the market today aimed at more productive hunts. Although one must be cautious when wading through the many products, some can be very helpful. Fiber-optic sights which attach to the barrel with a magnet, adjustable shooting rests that help to hold the gun and pistol grips which take the pounding from a large shell off your shoulder, are all innovative products out there.
As with most sports and hunting in particular, the condition and functionality of your equipment can lead to a very good or a very disastrous day. Like I mentioned before, thousands of accessories can be added to your equipment list but the two major ones are calls and decoys. Turkey hunters have quite a selection of calls to choose from including box calls, slate calls, diaphragms, and even electronic devices. I personally like the natural sound of a slate call to get the toms to come in and then switch to the diaphragm when they get close. A diaphragm call sits in the roof of your mouth allowing you to keep both hands on the gun and call at the same time. The other important piece of equipment is your decoys. When buying a new set, do yourself a favor and spend a little more. The difference between the foam, two dimension cutouts and the nice plastic deluxe models is huge. Turkeys have the best eyesight in the forest and will spot the inexpensive knock-off from a mile away.
The last major focus will be your camouflage. Since turkeys are so well known for amazing eyesight, it is obvious that to be successful, the hunter must be invisible. Many patterns on the market have been developed specifically for spring hunting. They will normally have more green hues and less dark brown colors. Items must be worn so that the hunter is covered literally from head to toe. Always remember that a flash of a wristwatch or exposed, shiny skin will alert you prize turkey way before he’s in the kill zone. Always wear a head net or face make-up, a complete suite, gloves, and even camo boots.
So now you are all set for success. With the right gun (or bow), a few accessories, and some camouflage that will turn you into a part of the forest, your chances of bagging a nice tom and an unforgettable memory are in your future. Maine is a gorgeous state to hunt and with the relatively new sport of wild turkey hunting, sportsmen can finally have something to focus on during the spring season. Just remember when storing all that gear and putting the gun back in the cabinet that there is now a fall, two-week turkey season to dream about over the summer.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Process Essay
“Your call is important to us, thank you for calling today and for your patience. We’ll be with you shortly.” Sound familiar? We’ve all heard it. Every time we have to pay a bill A.S.A.P. and forced to waste our lives listening to broken-record recordings and cheesy elevator music. Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to call the newest and biggest phone and internet provider in the Northeast. I was trying, with some prodding from me girlfriend, to get an Internet connection at our new house. Sitting there with the phone plastered to my ear, staring at the blue wall paper in my kitchen like a zombie, thoughts came to my mind of how one can make it through this modern day torture. I figure there must be a way to prepare ourselves for the battle, keep ourselves entertained through the ordeal and get the telephone operators to actually help us.
The first thing to do when making the painful phone call to a gigantic company is to prepare yourself for what is about to happen. You need to sit down in a chair with you phone set down directly in front of you. Close your eyes and say to yourself “It’s going to be a long battle but we can win. We can be VICTORIOUS!” After recovering, develop a good normal pattern of breathing; gather all your focus and concentrate. Grab the phone and dial without looking back.
The next step is to lighten up a little. You know you’re going to be on hold for a lifetime anyway so do yourself a favor. Find that little speakerphone button that almost every cell phone has and hit it. You may now go about your usual business as long as you can hear that god-awful recording in your peripheral hearing. One may find themselves, bagging the trash, cleaning up some dishes or if the mood strikes just right even writing an English paper, all while listening to the madness unfold through the speaker.
So if you make it through and become one of the lucky few that find an actual human, how do you go about getting them to do your biding? The biggest weapon you have is niceness. Everyone has run into that person on the other end that wasn’t hugged enough as a child. By getting frustrated and angry with t his train wreck we just feed into their negative attitudes and becomes counter-productive. Try next time to do the opposite of what they expect. When you do act overly nice or friendly, some may take it as a sarcastic attack but many will actually change their own attitudes or at least try to help you.
These are a few coping mechanisms to take with you and use when dealing with the dreaded phone calls and annoying telephone operators. Try to remember the futility in getting upset with the process but instead chalk it up to a freight train, progressive culture and accept it. You may get lucky once and awhile and deal someone like Andrew, the surprisingly helpful lad working in the Connecticut office of the fore-mentioned telephone line conglomerate. Even though I waited the expected thirty minutes to reach him, he hooked me up with an install and restored a tiny bit of faith in the system.
The first thing to do when making the painful phone call to a gigantic company is to prepare yourself for what is about to happen. You need to sit down in a chair with you phone set down directly in front of you. Close your eyes and say to yourself “It’s going to be a long battle but we can win. We can be VICTORIOUS!” After recovering, develop a good normal pattern of breathing; gather all your focus and concentrate. Grab the phone and dial without looking back.
The next step is to lighten up a little. You know you’re going to be on hold for a lifetime anyway so do yourself a favor. Find that little speakerphone button that almost every cell phone has and hit it. You may now go about your usual business as long as you can hear that god-awful recording in your peripheral hearing. One may find themselves, bagging the trash, cleaning up some dishes or if the mood strikes just right even writing an English paper, all while listening to the madness unfold through the speaker.
So if you make it through and become one of the lucky few that find an actual human, how do you go about getting them to do your biding? The biggest weapon you have is niceness. Everyone has run into that person on the other end that wasn’t hugged enough as a child. By getting frustrated and angry with t his train wreck we just feed into their negative attitudes and becomes counter-productive. Try next time to do the opposite of what they expect. When you do act overly nice or friendly, some may take it as a sarcastic attack but many will actually change their own attitudes or at least try to help you.
These are a few coping mechanisms to take with you and use when dealing with the dreaded phone calls and annoying telephone operators. Try to remember the futility in getting upset with the process but instead chalk it up to a freight train, progressive culture and accept it. You may get lucky once and awhile and deal someone like Andrew, the surprisingly helpful lad working in the Connecticut office of the fore-mentioned telephone line conglomerate. Even though I waited the expected thirty minutes to reach him, he hooked me up with an install and restored a tiny bit of faith in the system.
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